I’ve never talked about my feelings anymore. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel insecure like my previous relationships. With Robin, I feel safe because she accepts me for who I am. I can see that she’s actually want us to last. I’m grateful for her.
It’s been two years we’re together. We’ve been apart for a year and we will reunite by the end of this month. I’m excited really, but scared at the same time. Will we be okay? When I told people about this plan, some cheered for us and some… reacted quite negatively. They said something like… it’s not gonna be as happy as it seems.
I’m not naive. Of course, I’m not thinking as it’s gonna be smooth at all times, but then I feel I can get to know her better than ever. Later we could work more things out if we find disagreements. Really, I can’t wait.
But then, how do we deal with… privacy and all that? I’m pretty much a private person. I love to keep things inside and never really talk about it, including if I’m annoyed with something, and sometimes even I spoke the opposite. Robin always encourages me to talk about my feelings but I couldn’t be forced. I just hope that someday she will understand me more about how to handle me better when this happens.
I also want to learn about her better. She’s perfect and smart. Although she’s super independent, she’s also a big kid at heart. I admit, sometimes I couldn’t give her all the attention she deserves but I think I should be better when we’re together. I really want to understand her more. There are so much to learn about each other’s quirks so maybe this will somehow help our boredom towards each other as well.
Hmmm.. it’s been so long I rarely speak to myself about my feelings. I like this silence for a while.