Next time, perhaps!

A blog by a tiny, bored worker

Litany – Call on Me

I am so bored at work, I decided to share this beautiful track with you guys which resonate with my circumstance currently.

I just wanna hang out
I don’t want nothing else
Are you gonna call on me?
I don’t wanna be in love
I don’t wanna be your baby
I just want one touch…

Admit it. We’re old. The older we are, the lesser friends that we have. My problem is now, I feel isolated and honestly, I just need a friend.

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Meh days

25th August 2019

My friend did come! Like around 1am… he came and brought me arak Bali and CT, a traditional alcoholic brew. I thought I was the one who needed to get drunk but apparently… he got drunk more than I am??? I was shocked at first but anyway, it’s actually fun to listen to people talk.

In the morning, well not that morning, around 2pm we decided to get some food. Boy he was so drunk he puked and puked but finally after a few hot tea and water, he could manage to stand up lol. He drove his Vespa, initially we wanted to eat at Blok M but we saw Eatlah at Mayestik and so we ate that instead. Not a bad choice lol.

I quite like that day since I wasn’t really lonely and actually talked with a friend.

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The wave

23rd August 2019

I have to say sorry for not posting anything while good things happened yesterday! So, apparently, yesterday marked the third year I first messaged Robin on app lol. We actually put that in our calendar, to make up our anniversary date. I suggested to match it with her birthday but she didn’t want to lol.

Yesterday, like usual, in the morning I worked. Colleague told me she decided to leave the company. I’m so happy for her, because clearly she doesn’t like the company and I think the feeling is mutual haha.

In the afternoon, my partner’s mom came to town along with her sister. I decided to meet them because I’m lonely and also I think I just want to get to know her better. So we had dinner around their place and we talked. I think she likes me, or at least I hope so.

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Seeing the shrink

Today I finally went to get professional help from a shrink. It was quite interesting. Some people may feel this is a brave decision and whatnot but I think it’s quite… alright? Life has been boring recently and I feel some kind of changes will be good for me so honestly, I don’t see me going to the doctor is an achievement haha (but I do accept compliments lol).

It wasn’t planned AT ALL. This morning I was already prepared to come to the office. I’ve even stepped my foot in front of the building, but something stopped me. I couldn’t continue to walk into the office building… Well, I’ve arrived around 20mins late (blame it to the slow TransJakarta because I actually went out of the apartment earlier than usual).

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Hello… 2019 (what a basic bitch I am)

Gosh, it’s first May already, I don’t know why I bother to write this. Anyway a lot has happened to me from my last post, which in September 2018 until today.

To sum up, I’ve moved back to Jakarta, Indonesia, partner got a job in Sumatra, my relationship with colleagues went down to the rabbit hole.

Since end of last year, my company asked if it’s okay to move me back to Indo. Well, I think it’s a great idea because then I can do lots of things like having meetings, trainings, etc, something I couldn’t do if I stay in Singapore. Also, I knew my partner would move back to Indo and find a job there, because of the government regulation.

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Silence?

I’ve never talked about my feelings anymore. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel insecure like my previous relationships. With Robin, I feel safe because she accepts me for who I am. I can see that she’s actually want us to last. I’m grateful for her.

It’s been two years we’re together. We’ve been apart for a year and we will reunite by the end of this month. I’m excited really, but scared at the same time. Will we be okay? When I told people about this plan, some cheered for us and some… reacted quite negatively. They said something like… it’s not gonna be as happy as it seems.

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